somehow, sleeping apart from my number 1 just feels different. altho he is just a room away, it just breaks my heart that he has to sacrifice sleeping with mummy and daddy just so he can have a peaceful night away from his lil bro.
I wonder if it breaks his heart too......
i was almost quite sure, all boys alike arent as loving and sweet as a lil daughter would be. i almost can imagine how a daughter would shower hugs and kisses every night and how she would tell me she loves me everynight before she goes to bed. she would be like mummy and daddy, with no qualms of a quick peck or a big hug when we felt like it.
but little did i expect, lo and behold, my lil boy is just as sweet if not super sweet. one of the first things he learnt to do was to do the flying kiss thingy. and he does it like an expert now. he is in the phase now where he plants kisses and gives big hugs when you least expects it. when i frown at him for being naughty, he will just start planting kisses . not just my face but he will aim at my lips. super cute. and he melts daddy's heart by running up to him to give him a big hug each time he gets back from work.
just tonight, while i was lying next to him putting him to sleep, he planted one huge kiss on my lips before putting his arms around my neck. he did this by inching himself towards me. everytime i felt that he was asleep i would inch away only to have him stir slightly to tighten his grip around my neck. my heart just melted. so we did the inch away , grab tighter thingy for a good ten minutes before he finally fell into a deep sleep. was i complaining? not one bit. i spent every second just thinking how sweet and loving my son has become. he is going to be just like daddy. one hell of a heartbreaker.....
my baby is almost hitting the 16mth mark! technically speaking i have been a mummy for 16+9mths already. its been an incredible journey and im looking forward to every minute spent with my baby!
'to the world you may be one person,
but to one person, you may be everything'
Merry xmas, 2009 has been a blast!
im going to give this blog a brand new lease of life... and as with whats already happening to my life... this blog will be almost always about Cristian and just a wee bit about me ...
IM BACK!!
its been a while.....its been one hell of a roller coaster ride (exciting to be exact) with new milestones. I would have never imagined i would love another as much as i do now ... the other being hubz of coz) :)
I feel so blessed to have a wonderful husband , supportive family, wonderful godmas and godpas and (i cant imagine i would say this) a great helper ... last but not least ... to have someone who loves me unconditionally as i do him.
Thank you for the blessings
Lord I’m asking for Your help To raise my newborn son, give me strength and guide me cause I know that You’re the one. That sent this angel to me, a little heaven here on earth, for now I know my place in life… I’m no longer who comes first. Once I had no answer as to why it is I’m here, but when I looked into my baby’s eyes…. it all became so clear. This little bit of heaven owns me, heart and soul and it’s You that sent him to me, a greater love I’ll never know. So take these rugged hands of mine, help me to understand, just what it is I need to do to raise this little man. Help me build a boy that knows it’s You that holds the key, to all that heaven holds for us. Show him Your love through me.
(extracted)
1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
Depends.... Sports mostly. Then Bikes. Then Tattoos
2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
What Dressing?! He doesnt even eat vege
3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?
western food..only because i keep asking for it
4. You go out to the bar. What does he order?
jug of beer
5. Where did he go to high school?
shit. i forgot
6. What size shoe does he wear?
8-9
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
bike magazines
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
he hates any type
9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
has no food peeves... but my guess char siew/ chicken rice
10. What is his favourite cereal?
so not into cereals
11. What would he never wear?
chelsea jersey
12. What is his favourite sports team?
Man U
13. Who will he vote for?
obama?
14. Who is his best friend?
me!
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?
mess up his cupboard with my clothes
16. How many cities/countries has he lived in?
Singapore.
17. What is his heritage?
Hokkien
18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
chocolate . but i will buy it
19. Did he play sports in high school?
bball/badminton/soccer/netball as he claims hehe
20. What could he spend hours doing?
PS3
confinement aint so bad.... aside from recovery of the bottom, erratic bowel movements,interrupted sleep, etc etc ... im loving every moment of it .. only because im spending it with the loves of my life ............
1. Name one person who made you laugh last night?
as usual .. my farnie husband
2. What were you doing at 0800?
driving to work
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
surfing aimlessly
4. What happened to you in 2006?
got married... cant remember any other significant events
5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
yeah right ....
6. How many beverages did you have today?
1 carton Peel Fresh Orange; 1 bottle of water chestnut ; 1 cup coke ; 1 cup orange punch ; 3 glasses of water
7. What color is your hairbrush?
wat brush ....
8. What was the last thing you paid for?
some milk bags i purchased online
9. Where were you last night?
at home watching olympics
10. What color is your front door?
Brown.
11. Where do you keep your change?
its strewn all over in hand bag
12. What’s the weather like today?
sux
13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
strawberry
14. What excites you?
my two boys .....
15. Do you want to cut your hair?
just cut after a long ten years?
16. Are you over the age of 25?
slightly ....
17. Do you talk a lot?
when i feel like it
18. Do you watch the O.C.?
used to
19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
a couple...
20. Do you make up your own words?
when i feel smart ... yes
21. Are you a jealous person?
depends
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
anthony
23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Kelvin
24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
Dar?
25. What does the last text message you received say?
ok ... see ya in a while muacks
26. Do you chew on your straw?
always
27. Do you have curly hair?
yeah like perpetual
28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
toilet .... haha
29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
er... cant say ... she reads my blogs but she has got better over the years
30. What was the last thing you ate?
eclipse mint
31. Will you get married in the future?
er... not again i suppose
32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
The Dark Knight
33. Is there anyone you like right now?
yeah ..... my colleagues
34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
cant remember
35. Are you currently depressed?
a little ... i need to pop soon
36. Did you cry today?
nah ... it takes alot for me to cry
37. Why did you answer and post this?
nothing to do
38. Tag 7 people who would do this survey.
er ... no frenz to tag
we are almost there! this would prob be the longest one month ever. we are more anxious than the time it was one month to the wedding.
i cant wait to pop. i cant sleep .i cant eat well. i cant walk for long. i cant sit for long. i can bend down to pick things up. i cant see my own toes. i just cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but all is well and good with Cristian. i cant wait to see him.
and then i will have two boys to take care of ...... Blissssssssssss
yeah! i am now 2/3 of the journey to having a baby boy!
i am currently obsessed with feeling my tummy at oddly hours to feel baby Cristian's movements. Only a mummy would understand the miracle of a baby moving inside of you ... not even a father :) but at least he has got the hang of it. i just randomly grab his hand over my tummy when baby Cristian is kicking. Well, he almost has a nightly habit of putting his hands on my tummy just to feel if baby is awake. Nice!
we finally passed the dreadful 16. i cant even bring myself to remember that fateful week. but anyway its been a long 17 weeks this time round and we pulled through with the help of lots of prayers and friends' and loved ones' blessings. We are so looking forward to expecting our first child in Aug / Sep. Its going to be a Leo baby! Family seems ecstatic and its helps to ease our anxiety until the arrival of our baby. It will be another week or 2 before we declare its officially past the risk period and i just cant bloody wait............... i need to shop for baby clothes and really start planning for the baby.
hubz felt a kick or two ... he claims. i've felt slight flutters in my tummy ... i think . so we aint that sure that's baby Cristian talking to us but we do know that baby is doing well coz of the constant cramps and backaches i feel on a daily basis. But i am so not complaining coz its a sure sign that Cristian is growing well with a vengeance! i had a super blonde moment when i mentioned to our gynae that i didnt have such symptoms the previous pregnancy and he was like " Baby wasnt growing what " hiaks .
so the pregnancy has almost taken over our life , work still goes on. Hubz is still busy with work and the bakery while work has taken a positive turn for me. Looks like life is looking good now .... and of coz it doesnt hurt to have male colleagues (read: wierd) writing blogs at their age
here goes one http://dwee-david.blogspot.com/
now i know the true meaning of tears of joy. it was an unbelievably feeling of 'high' when we saw our baby kicking and twisting around. dr said baby's very active and doing well. he did very preliminary tests for down syndrome like measurement of nasal and neck width to show that bb was doing good. yippeee.... that was extremely comforting to know that baby is growing well with a vengeance. the late night coaxing and tummy rubbing have paid off! dr also declared that the risk is significantly lower now that we have entered the second trimester of the preganancy!
what was more amazing was the moment we stepped out of the room, i looked at hubz and went
me : did you see something?
hubz : yeah man . i tawt only i saw it
me : no no i saw a penis too!
hubz : yeah should be
okay maybe the gynae just wanted to be sure and told us he will only tell us the gender next week.
but of course it doesnt matter .... coz the baby will still be our most precious gift!
as always ... after every good news visit to the gynae, my morning sickness just seemed to disappear and we had a good meal of Din Tai Fung. *PURE BLISS*
Today marks the day when my first baby was to be born. As hubs says , we will have another baby in 6 months time, we should look forward and not dwell on the past. But i suppose its just not the same. This date will never be just another best friend's birthday, another rainy sunday or another uneventful day. It would be the day i was to receive my most precious gift. The only comfort i have is that we will be having another child soon to constantly remind me of the blessing i once took for granted for. I pray that our child in heaven will bless his sibling, our other child due in 6 months with good health in many years to come.....
A Child In Heaven
I have a child in Heaven
Taken to that special place
I thank the Lord for taking you there
Because of his amazing grace.
You never heard the words "hello,""goodbye"
Or "how I love you so"
Spoken from your Mother's heart
She is waiting here below
You were taken from me early
Newly forming inside of me
But I heard that tiny heart beating
But your face I would never see
There are many others just like you
That never lived on earth outside of their Mother
Some taken by God's hand, others not
But you are all with one another
It's impossible to understand God's plan at all times
Some things were just meant to be
He took you home to be with him
And perhaps He too spared me
But he also gave his comfort
When I allowed Him to do so
The grief was there, the tears still flowed
But there was peace I came to know
I have a child in Heaven
Who is in the Father's arms
A place of rest and comfort
Away from the world's harms
today will be the 7th day and officially the last day before gg back to work. bleah.
anyway the first 2 days were mc given by the gynae. we had a slight scare coz i was spotting quite badly. i was praying so hard all the way to the gynae that the taxi driver prob heard me aloud. ha. it was a HUGE relief when the gynae announced that i could open my eyes and see the heartbeat for my self. farnie coz the nurses asked why dont you want to see the scan for the heartbeat . i mean like DUH. scared lah. we were talking it through all through the wait with the what ifs and the what nots. i was almost in tears when the gynae said baby was doing well. i cant imagine when i deliver the baby, i prob will be an emotional wreck haha.
anyway altho dr said he'd rather not us go coz i was spotting, we still went ahead with phuket reassuring all that we would take extra care. And extra care we took. We did absolutely nothing except hardcore tanning by the beach( with my baby covered well) , napping in the afternoons ,having long meals just so i could have that extra rest from walking. We hardly bought stuff unless it was a case of happen to see or find. And we watched at least 6 good movies in the comfort of the hotel room. And of course, Grand Slam both finals and soccer most matches. That will be at least 10 hours spent on sports appreciation. And I finished 2 good books at the beach. Its prob one of my best hols only because hubz was very patient about the whole arrangement, no walking, no late nights and lots of breaks in between walking. The only spoiler was my morning sickness. I had bouts of puking during the 4 days, but otherwise everything went well. I need another holiday soon...........
i've dug up the old books that were hastily stored away on that one dreadful afternoon and began my nightly reads. Not that i dun already know of what to eat , what to do ... but paranoia is driving me a little crazy. this is now my bedside read and this time round... im not skipping a single line esp the what ifs.........
morning sickness is back with a vengeance coupled with severe diarrhoea over the last few days making me almost insanely over the top with joy. call me crazy. but all the discomfort and puking is telling me that the baby is growing well. i remember telling frenz that my last bout of morning sickness will deter me from having another kid. Im taking it all back! the sleepness nights, the constant puking and indigestion......... im loving every moment of it.
we are both hopeful and have a good feeling that things will work out this time. although it seems at times that almost like an unspoken thought hovering between us, no matter what happens, we will always have each other.
this time round, we're embracing every minute of it and taking it one step at a time. so we decided we will go ahead with our plans and bring baby to his first trip to Phuket this Friday and we will come back for CNY with a cool tan.
im coming clean this time..... i'm pregs again and though it came as a welcoming surprise, im still feeling (very) anxious and paranoid. like who wouldn't.
went to see a new gynae today and he told us things we should have known previously of my condition. we have to be careful all the way to 18 weeks instead of the normal 12 weeks because i have a double uterus. i really want to curse and swear at our previous gynae for not giving us details so much so that we could have more careful then.
but anyway its a new start .... i contemplated not telling anyone till past the 18 weeks so that i can save the explaining should anything untoward happens again. but i decided and im writing this only because whoever reads this .......... i need your prayers for a strong and sticky baby. i promise to do all i can to protect the baby but it will depend on how the baby wants to stick. pls pls pray for me and the baby.
im still not telling unless you get to read this ;)
1. Who eats more?
me.... he eats slow and little , like a woman
2. Who said “I love you” first?
ermm.... its been 8 yrs and i really cant remember.
But i remind him everyday *wink*
3. Who is the morning person?
we both are.
4. Who sings better?
he says he sings like Jacky Cheung.
5. Who’s older?
me but not that much leh ... only 4 months. not even that significant
6. Who’s smarter?
i think i am .... haha
but he's definitely better at directions, better at decisions, better at technical stuff, better at games .. so well... i still i am
7. Whose temper is worse?
it used to be him .....
8. Who does the laundry?
what laundry?
9. Who does the dishes?
he eats and walk away.
i eat and walk away too.
so i wonder who ever does the dishes...
10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
he' on my left
11. Whose feet are bigger?
definitely his. big feet for small guy
12. Whose hair is longer?
mine of course.
he longs to have rocker hair though
13. Who’s better with the computer?
i never wanted to be good at computer. so there's many things i cant do .
14. Do you have pets?
3 small dogs
1 big dog
1 fat pig hahahaha
15. Who pays the bills?
i never asked. so i think he pays
16. Who cooks dinner?
i cook cup noodles
17. Who drives when you are together?
him.
18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
im always at the toilet at the right time
19. Who’s the most stubborn?
can i not answer?
20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?
im never wrong.
21. Whose family do you see more?
his. we stay together
22. Who named your pet?
by me and sis
23. Who kissed who first?
must be him.
24. Who asked who out?
must be him. again. he was so into me hahahaha
26. Who’s more sensitive?
Me. i have to remind him to be
27. Who’s taller?
not sure. hahaha
definitely him
28. Who has more friends?
i have lots of friends.
his only friend is me . muahahahaha i love this quiz
29. Who has more siblings?
him.
30. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
i wear Gs, he wears panties .......................
its exactly one month. i thought about it in 'spurts' and held back tears as always. and i even spoke about it to a friend i least expected to feel comfortable with. i also mentioned to him today but he seemed pretty nonchalant about it.
i suppose its time i put a closure to my miscarriage and move on. i love life too much to want to live it this way. for the very first time in a long while, i am feeling good today and i shouldn't feel guilty about it. it almost feels as if i have done my fair bit of grieving. i did my fair share of prayers and have this feeling that all the bad luck and experiences will just go away . i will allow myself to grieve occasionally but i will laugh more than ever. life is simply too short to look back in anger and sadness.
i have the whole weekend to myself and despite him gg off to KL, i am staying in sgp by choice. I have too much ahead to want to wallow in sadness.
so guys ... I AM BACK for good.
