yeah! i am now 2/3 of the journey to having a baby boy!
i am currently obsessed with feeling my tummy at oddly hours to feel baby Cristian's movements. Only a mummy would understand the miracle of a baby moving inside of you ... not even a father :) but at least he has got the hang of it. i just randomly grab his hand over my tummy when baby Cristian is kicking. Well, he almost has a nightly habit of putting his hands on my tummy just to feel if baby is awake. Nice!
we finally passed the dreadful 16. i cant even bring myself to remember that fateful week. but anyway its been a long 17 weeks this time round and we pulled through with the help of lots of prayers and friends' and loved ones' blessings. We are so looking forward to expecting our first child in Aug / Sep. Its going to be a Leo baby! Family seems ecstatic and its helps to ease our anxiety until the arrival of our baby. It will be another week or 2 before we declare its officially past the risk period and i just cant bloody wait............... i need to shop for baby clothes and really start planning for the baby.
hubz felt a kick or two ... he claims. i've felt slight flutters in my tummy ... i think . so we aint that sure that's baby Cristian talking to us but we do know that baby is doing well coz of the constant cramps and backaches i feel on a daily basis. But i am so not complaining coz its a sure sign that Cristian is growing well with a vengeance! i had a super blonde moment when i mentioned to our gynae that i didnt have such symptoms the previous pregnancy and he was like " Baby wasnt growing what " hiaks .
so the pregnancy has almost taken over our life , work still goes on. Hubz is still busy with work and the bakery while work has taken a positive turn for me. Looks like life is looking good now .... and of coz it doesnt hurt to have male colleagues (read: wierd) writing blogs at their age
here goes one http://dwee-david.blogspot.com/
now i know the true meaning of tears of joy. it was an unbelievably feeling of 'high' when we saw our baby kicking and twisting around. dr said baby's very active and doing well. he did very preliminary tests for down syndrome like measurement of nasal and neck width to show that bb was doing good. yippeee.... that was extremely comforting to know that baby is growing well with a vengeance. the late night coaxing and tummy rubbing have paid off! dr also declared that the risk is significantly lower now that we have entered the second trimester of the preganancy!
what was more amazing was the moment we stepped out of the room, i looked at hubz and went
me : did you see something?
hubz : yeah man . i tawt only i saw it
me : no no i saw a penis too!
hubz : yeah should be
okay maybe the gynae just wanted to be sure and told us he will only tell us the gender next week.
but of course it doesnt matter .... coz the baby will still be our most precious gift!
as always ... after every good news visit to the gynae, my morning sickness just seemed to disappear and we had a good meal of Din Tai Fung. *PURE BLISS*
Today marks the day when my first baby was to be born. As hubs says , we will have another baby in 6 months time, we should look forward and not dwell on the past. But i suppose its just not the same. This date will never be just another best friend's birthday, another rainy sunday or another uneventful day. It would be the day i was to receive my most precious gift. The only comfort i have is that we will be having another child soon to constantly remind me of the blessing i once took for granted for. I pray that our child in heaven will bless his sibling, our other child due in 6 months with good health in many years to come.....
A Child In Heaven
I have a child in Heaven
Taken to that special place
I thank the Lord for taking you there
Because of his amazing grace.
You never heard the words "hello,""goodbye"
Or "how I love you so"
Spoken from your Mother's heart
She is waiting here below
You were taken from me early
Newly forming inside of me
But I heard that tiny heart beating
But your face I would never see
There are many others just like you
That never lived on earth outside of their Mother
Some taken by God's hand, others not
But you are all with one another
It's impossible to understand God's plan at all times
Some things were just meant to be
He took you home to be with him
And perhaps He too spared me
But he also gave his comfort
When I allowed Him to do so
The grief was there, the tears still flowed
But there was peace I came to know
I have a child in Heaven
Who is in the Father's arms
A place of rest and comfort
Away from the world's harms
today will be the 7th day and officially the last day before gg back to work. bleah.
anyway the first 2 days were mc given by the gynae. we had a slight scare coz i was spotting quite badly. i was praying so hard all the way to the gynae that the taxi driver prob heard me aloud. ha. it was a HUGE relief when the gynae announced that i could open my eyes and see the heartbeat for my self. farnie coz the nurses asked why dont you want to see the scan for the heartbeat . i mean like DUH. scared lah. we were talking it through all through the wait with the what ifs and the what nots. i was almost in tears when the gynae said baby was doing well. i cant imagine when i deliver the baby, i prob will be an emotional wreck haha.
anyway altho dr said he'd rather not us go coz i was spotting, we still went ahead with phuket reassuring all that we would take extra care. And extra care we took. We did absolutely nothing except hardcore tanning by the beach( with my baby covered well) , napping in the afternoons ,having long meals just so i could have that extra rest from walking. We hardly bought stuff unless it was a case of happen to see or find. And we watched at least 6 good movies in the comfort of the hotel room. And of course, Grand Slam both finals and soccer most matches. That will be at least 10 hours spent on sports appreciation. And I finished 2 good books at the beach. Its prob one of my best hols only because hubz was very patient about the whole arrangement, no walking, no late nights and lots of breaks in between walking. The only spoiler was my morning sickness. I had bouts of puking during the 4 days, but otherwise everything went well. I need another holiday soon...........
i've dug up the old books that were hastily stored away on that one dreadful afternoon and began my nightly reads. Not that i dun already know of what to eat , what to do ... but paranoia is driving me a little crazy. this is now my bedside read and this time round... im not skipping a single line esp the what ifs.........
morning sickness is back with a vengeance coupled with severe diarrhoea over the last few days making me almost insanely over the top with joy. call me crazy. but all the discomfort and puking is telling me that the baby is growing well. i remember telling frenz that my last bout of morning sickness will deter me from having another kid. Im taking it all back! the sleepness nights, the constant puking and indigestion......... im loving every moment of it.
we are both hopeful and have a good feeling that things will work out this time. although it seems at times that almost like an unspoken thought hovering between us, no matter what happens, we will always have each other.
this time round, we're embracing every minute of it and taking it one step at a time. so we decided we will go ahead with our plans and bring baby to his first trip to Phuket this Friday and we will come back for CNY with a cool tan.
im coming clean this time..... i'm pregs again and though it came as a welcoming surprise, im still feeling (very) anxious and paranoid. like who wouldn't.
went to see a new gynae today and he told us things we should have known previously of my condition. we have to be careful all the way to 18 weeks instead of the normal 12 weeks because i have a double uterus. i really want to curse and swear at our previous gynae for not giving us details so much so that we could have more careful then.
but anyway its a new start .... i contemplated not telling anyone till past the 18 weeks so that i can save the explaining should anything untoward happens again. but i decided and im writing this only because whoever reads this .......... i need your prayers for a strong and sticky baby. i promise to do all i can to protect the baby but it will depend on how the baby wants to stick. pls pls pray for me and the baby.
im still not telling unless you get to read this ;)
1. Who eats more?
me.... he eats slow and little , like a woman
2. Who said “I love you” first?
ermm.... its been 8 yrs and i really cant remember.
But i remind him everyday *wink*
3. Who is the morning person?
we both are.
4. Who sings better?
he says he sings like Jacky Cheung.
5. Who’s older?
me but not that much leh ... only 4 months. not even that significant
6. Who’s smarter?
i think i am .... haha
but he's definitely better at directions, better at decisions, better at technical stuff, better at games .. so well... i still i am
7. Whose temper is worse?
it used to be him .....
8. Who does the laundry?
what laundry?
9. Who does the dishes?
he eats and walk away.
i eat and walk away too.
so i wonder who ever does the dishes...
10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
he' on my left
11. Whose feet are bigger?
definitely his. big feet for small guy
12. Whose hair is longer?
mine of course.
he longs to have rocker hair though
13. Who’s better with the computer?
i never wanted to be good at computer. so there's many things i cant do .
14. Do you have pets?
3 small dogs
1 big dog
1 fat pig hahahaha
15. Who pays the bills?
i never asked. so i think he pays
16. Who cooks dinner?
i cook cup noodles
17. Who drives when you are together?
him.
18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
im always at the toilet at the right time
19. Who’s the most stubborn?
can i not answer?
20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?
im never wrong.
21. Whose family do you see more?
his. we stay together
22. Who named your pet?
by me and sis
23. Who kissed who first?
must be him.
24. Who asked who out?
must be him. again. he was so into me hahahaha
26. Who’s more sensitive?
Me. i have to remind him to be
27. Who’s taller?
not sure. hahaha
definitely him
28. Who has more friends?
i have lots of friends.
his only friend is me . muahahahaha i love this quiz
29. Who has more siblings?
him.
30. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
i wear Gs, he wears panties .......................
its exactly one month. i thought about it in 'spurts' and held back tears as always. and i even spoke about it to a friend i least expected to feel comfortable with. i also mentioned to him today but he seemed pretty nonchalant about it.
i suppose its time i put a closure to my miscarriage and move on. i love life too much to want to live it this way. for the very first time in a long while, i am feeling good today and i shouldn't feel guilty about it. it almost feels as if i have done my fair bit of grieving. i did my fair share of prayers and have this feeling that all the bad luck and experiences will just go away . i will allow myself to grieve occasionally but i will laugh more than ever. life is simply too short to look back in anger and sadness.
i have the whole weekend to myself and despite him gg off to KL, i am staying in sgp by choice. I have too much ahead to want to wallow in sadness.
so guys ... I AM BACK for good.
