almost.

its almost a month.

i still ponder occasionally but i try to brush it away as soon as i feel a tinge of emotion welling up. i will not be attending a colleague's grandma's wake just because i didnt want to tell her i understood how she felt about losing a loved one. and i definitely wouldnt want to be all emotional in front of my dear colleagues.i casually mentioned to a close colleague that i will be not be attending and it surprised me to hear him say " maybe you shouldn't" does it seem ive been hurting? i definitely not think so. but its extremely comforting to know that someone remembered my loss. ive been holding up since the first day of work and i love them too dearly to let them know i still remember.

these days, both of us have almost stopped talking about the pain and instead we discuss future plans and how we will live life to the fullest. the only reminder of pain however comes from my sis's blog. ironically i love her for the reminders that loss cannot be brushed aside. despite all the pain, we still have to live on. it seems she is my voice for my innermost feelings and cannot find ways to express. i feel comforted to know that someone beside us, shares our pain and emotions. and that we are loved and not alone. thank you my dear. i love you more than you know it.

life is back to normal. we do the dailies. and we have got back to the late nights of the occasional pubbing and hanging out.
im holding up well.
and im okay..... almost